Understanding what others say

In education, as in most dynamic careers, talk moves fast, and conversations between workers can be numerous.  One third of your waking activities in any given day is occupied in conversation according to an article in Entrepreneur.  “There are only three ways to spend time: thoughts, conversations and actions. Regardless of the type of business you own, your work will be composed of those three items.” (Mathews, Debolt & Percival, 2011)

            Since one third of our waking activity is spent in conversation, the amount of conversations we have causes us to often say more than we think.  Students can translate the things an instructor says at any given time by paying attention to five specific elements in any conversation.

Social Metrics can indicate the effect and success of a message in the virtual cloud, but determining your importance, meaning and success in real time requires some basic instincts. (Lopez, 2014)

Fortunately, there is a good way to understand what others really are saying. 

1.    Listen to the parts of the message.  When writing sentences the subject and the predicate are the basic parts.  Though conversation doesn’t exactly stick to the rules of written grammar, the subject and the verb are still critical to any message.  If you know who, or what, then you already know the meat of the message. (Kline & Air University, (U.S.), 1996)

2.    Pay close attention to modifiers.  The adjectives, adverbs and phrases people attach to the predicate often carry more weight than the actual action to which they are referring. “Since we won’t be testing until Tuesday next week, we will be reviewing this on Friday.”    The review isn’t nearly as important to the speaker as why it is being delivered early, and the pending test on Tuesday.  Words like since, as a result of, and according to often indicate a change is on the horizon. As with everything else, be prepared to be flexible.

3.    Listen for specific details.  If details such as time, date, or person are missing, then the message should be considered incomplete.  Think about the last passing conversation you had.  A message like, “I will text you,” or “let me get back to you” has an indefinite time frame attached to it.  If you want specifics, you often must request them.  “What time should stop by your office?” would be more definite than responding with “Great; talk to you later.”  

4.    The words a person uses often indicate a lot about their task at hand.  Someone already burdened with a difficult task or even too many small tasks may be apt to give short quick replies to complex questions or inquiries. “Yes, no, and I don’t know,” are safest when overtaxed.  Hearing these short answers may indicate that your request is hitting at a bad time or in the wrong context.  If you do need clarification, reschedule your request. (Patterson, Covey & Fields, 2003)

5.    Tone may also alter a message.  In working with new people look for rate of conversation, pitch, and volume.  These attributes often indicate the working status of the person you are talking to.  A slow casual rhythm is the best context to hold a conversation, but with another 28,799 seconds of conversation to attend to, there is no guarantee your conversation will rank very high. 

References

Kline, J. A., & Air University (U.S.). (1996). Listening effectively. Maxwell Air Force Base, AL: Air

University Press.

Lopez, J. (2014, February 13). Social Engagement Metrics That Matter - Measuring, Tracking, and Reporting FTW - Moz. Retrieved from http://moz.com/blog/social-engagement-metrics-that-matter

Mathews, J., Debolt, D., & Percival, D. (2011, May 2). 10 Time Management Tips That Work | Entrepreneur.com. Retrieved September 1, 2014, from http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/219553

Patterson, K., Covey, S. R., & Fields, A. (2003). Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill Audio.